


cadence of your heart

by marksvitamins (allfouru)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationship Ideas, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Delusions, Fear, M/M, Mentioned Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Minor Character Death, Murder, Serious and Harmful Mental Illness, Soulmates, Strangling, Time Travel, Unhappy Ending, Violence, literally wtf did i write, mentioned vomiting, read with caution, the author does not condone the behavior of these characters, wow that's a bunch of doozys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28734756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfouru/pseuds/marksvitamins
Summary: ca·denceA sequence of notes or chords comprising the close of a musical phrase—:-:—:-:—:-:—In which Dejun is excited for a date and doesn't listen to the one thing his mom tells him is always right; his gut
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39
Collections: Challenge #4 — Awaken The World





	cadence of your heart

**Author's Note:**

> hello to anyone and everyone reading!! 
> 
> a quick reminder to pay very close attention to the tags considering the dark and potentially disturbing nature of this fic
> 
> i do not in any way shape or form condone or encourage the type of behavior demonstrated in this work of fiction, this piece contains images and ideas of a very disturbed and troubled individual that should not be taken lightly
> 
> now with that out of the way, i hope you enjoy my addition to A Little Wonder Fest: Awaken the World !!

A few nervous raps of knuckles against the door is all Dejun can manage at the moment. He can feel his nerves bubbling to his skin, encasing him in anxiety, his mind freezing over with  _ ‘what if _ ’s. 

_ 'It’s not like it’s the first date, why am I so nervous?' _

He's standing at the door of a house that belongs to the man he has been seeing pretty steady for the last few weeks. They’ve been on several dates, each a wonderful and heart-racing occurrence. The only difference between this date and all the previous is that  _ this date _ is the first they’ve planned that won't be in public. 

And that alone is enough to make Dejun shake in his boots. 

He can hear footsteps approaching quickly, large and loud from beyond the thick slice of oak in front of him. The sound stops and the door creaks open just enough to see Dejun's highly-anticipated date behind the wood frame. He glances at Dejun, recognition glimmering behind his eyes and a smile jumping to his lips.

"Dejun! Come in, come in," It's Jaehyun's velvet voice — the Dejun has heard laughing over dinner so many times — that greets him.

The house is built like an old mansion, wood support beams placed every few feet and windows lining the classically colored walls. It isn't modern, but it's cozy and luxurious, and just so  _ Jaehyun _ that it leaves Dejun with a fluttery feeling in his stomach. They round a corner or two, Dejun's mind not being able to remember the route with the sight and smell and  _ everything _ clouding his thoughts.

When his brain cools down enough to focus they are in a kitchen that leads into a dining room where a small two chair and table set stands. There's something sizzling in a large pot, pleasant bubbling noises floating to Dejun's ears and singing in a way that lulls his qualms. Jaehyun goes to stir the pot, large and structured frame leaned over the stove as his muscular arms stir whatever contents lie inside.

Dejun can feel blood rushing to his face as he unabashedly  _ gawks _ at this too-good-to-be-true human in front of him.  _ 'How is he real?' _

And Jaehyun, whose timing is always so frame-perfect, tilts his head to catch Dejun's eyes; he smiles softly. "You can have a seat at the table, this only needs a few minutes more until it's done."

And Dejun, forever a foolish man, stutters over his reply, "Can I, um — where's the bathroom?"

Jaehyun is still smiling, almost  _ sickeningly  _ sweet, with a look in his eyes so deep Dejun can't quite reach out to feel what it is. He looks back at the gurgling pot and says, "Down the hall, first one on your left," Dejun smiles, a softly uttered  _ 'thank you' _ leaving his dry mouth as he follows the directions Jaehyun gave him.

The bathroom is similar to the rest of the house; it feels like something stuck in time, the grey walls absent of wear and tear but decorated simply, accommodating to the natural beauty of the architecture. There is a sink of warm white porcelain and a stainless steel faucet, a classic mirrored medicine cabinet above the counter. The cabinet, it would seem, is slightly ajar, giving a peek at the contents inside.

And Dejun, innocent, curious, Dejun, simply can't stop himself from opening the cabinet and peering at whatever may lie behind it. Opening it and expecting the usual, some over the counter meds, maybe a toothbrush and toothpaste, he is a little taken aback when he scans the inside of the cabinet. It's  _ empty,  _ no bottles or brushes or tubes of anything. It's weird and leaves an uncomfortable something in his stomach that just doesn't sit right. But, ever the optimist, he reasons that perhaps this isn't the only bathroom and maybe Jaehyun has a different one where he keeps everything he needs. Because —  _ 'yeah,' _ he thinks to himself,  _ 'it would be weird to have things in a bathroom you don't use,' _ and that is the furthest he allows himself to think on the, decidedly nonexistent, issue. The feeling curling in the pit of his gut is forgotten, replaced with forced assurance.

He looks his reflection in the eyes one last time before straightening his shoulders and moving out of the room to return to Jaehyun. When he gets there a dark wine bottle sits on the table along with deep red liquid poured into two glasses sat opposite each other. Jaehyun hears Dejun's footsteps and turns his neck to look at him. He gives Dejun a small smile and flicks his head towards the table, telling him to sit down. So he does; he takes the seat farthest from where he was standing only a moment ago, settling into the simple yet elegant wooden chair.

He sips the wine slowly, the thick liquid drizzling down his throat and meeting the acid of his stomach in a fuzzy pressure. It eases his mind instantly, his muscles relaxing and anxiety evaporating off of his shoulders.

_ 'This is nice; being alone with him,'  _ Dejun thinks, his brain muddling together with thoughts he hopes will never see the light of day.

He hears Jaehyun turn the gas stove off, the knob clicking and pinging off the metal frame. He turns his head towards the sound, watches as the last flicker of the small flame puffs. Jaehyun plates the meal onto two separate plates and brings said plates to the table, placing Dejun's in front of the younger male and sitting down to dig into his own.

"How is the wine?" He asks gently, smile on full display and complete with his signature dimples. Dejun's heart race speeds up at the sight.

"It's  _ opulent, _ to say the least, makes me feel like I'm worth a million bucks."

Jaehyun pours a small amount of the liquid into his own glass with the delicacy of a professional — a classic gentleman at his finest. "Whoever said you weren't?"

Dejun's cheeks flush a deep red that complements their wine, "My bank teller for starters."

Jaehyun gives a laugh at Dejun’s antics, "Well, I think you're worth a thousand of the world's finest paintings," He raises his hand that is grasping his wine and clinks it lightly against Dejun's glass in cheers, "Museum worthy, if you will." He smirks behind his glass, sipping on the liquid gracefully. Something in Dejun's gut stirs again, but isn't the butterfly feeling he's used to, this one aching with foreboding.

He's always been good at following his gut, it's steered him away from some dangerous situations in the past and is almost always right.  _ Almost. _ He remembers only moments ago, in the bathroom when the feeling was hanging in his belly all the same, remembers brushing it off as something else. But this,  _ this, _ isn't something else, and that terrifies him enough to take action.

His brain starts churning, trying to think of ways he could get out of the house with as little resistance as possible and, hopefully, without alerting Jaehyun that he knows something is up  _ (that is,  _ the back of his mind thinks, _ if there's anything at all).  _ His immediate first idea is to text a friend to call him and make up an excuse for him.

So, with his voice hopefully lacking any shakiness, he quickly mutters to Jaehyun, "Oh shoot! I'm so sorry, I have to text my roommate real quick to remind him to take the dog out," But before he can even open his messages app Jaehyun cuts in —

"There isn't any service this far out," Dejun whips his head up towards the other, eyes blowing wide in a mix of disbelief and utter terror.

He can feel his breath being taken from his lungs, "Wh— what do you mean there isn't any service?" He tries to stay calm and keep his voice steady, he really does, but it's no use when his hands are shaking from under the table and his lungs feel like they're about to bounce out of his rib cage.

Jaehyun eerily smiles again, this time lacking the warmth and attractive features, something strange crawling behind his dark eyes, "I can't have you leaving so soon." He stands up, slowly pushing his chair in and walking towards Dejun.

He feels extremely uncomfortable and his brain is drowning in fright. He pushes his chair away, a terrible attempt at creating more space between himself and the other man, "I— I don't understand what you mean, you're starting to scare me Jaehyun."

He frowns at that, halting in his place momentarily. He seems to deeply contemplate what Dejun is saying, "Why are you scared? I've done so much for you, so much for  _ us, _ and you're  _ scared?" _

Dejun wishes he could take back everything he’s said when he realizes that Jaehyun's creepy expression is quickly growing into  _ anger.  _ He gets off his chair, backing away from the taller man in front of him, "What do you mean? Jaehyun,  _ what  _ did you do?" He asks, even though a voice at the back of his thoughts tells him he doesn't want to know. 

His anger softens a bit, sadness nipping at the edges, but the fire is still roaring behind his irises, waiting for gasoline to ignite it and send everything up in searing flames, "I've been doing this for so long, I couldn't take it anymore, " And Dejun wishes so badly for this to make  _ sense, _ "But then I saw you and I  _ knew  _ — Junnie I just knew I couldn't let you be with that  _ scumbag, _ he could never treat you the way I can — the way I  _ will." _

None of this adds up, all of it feels like a story that's missing the most crucial plot points and explanations, halves of sentences jumbling in Dejun's head trying to make something  _ fit. _ His breathing picks up tenfold when he realizes he's just backed himself against a wall, Jaehyun's long strides and quick feet approaching him too fast.

"He may have been your soulmate, but he wasn't the one." 

_ ‘Soulmate?’ _

_ "I'm  _ the one for once, don't you see that? I know you feel it, you have to, it's so strong it makes me feel suffocated when I can't be near you." Dejun’s stomach turns a little more, the vague feeling of vomit rising up his esophagus clouds his senses.

And then he has him fully caged in at the wall, Dejun's chances of escape slimming by the second. The muscles in Jaehyun’s jaw give a little slack — they relax — making way for another dimple-less grin to consume his face as he whispers, "So I  _ killed _ him, for  _ you." _

Dejun's face pales, the rising bile getting stuck under his tongue and blocking his airway, drowning him. He sits there, waits for the empty blackness of his bedroom to greet him, to tell him that this was all a dream, a  _ nightmare, _ and that if he pinches himself hard enough he'll wake up. He swallows thickly, throat running dry and entire body shivering as he asks, "Wh— who?"

Jaehyun scowls at the question, disgust curling onto his pink lips, "That good-for-nothing bastard  _ Lucas,"  _ Dejun chokes on a sob, "But don't worry, my Junnie, he can't keep us apart anymore."

_ ‘Lucas is?  _ —  _ no God please not Lucas,’ _

__ "X-Xuxi? What did you do to him!" He screams, his heart ripping at its seams. 

‘ _There's no way_ — _he can't,_ _he CAN'T be dead! He's the whole reason I started going out with this maniac,’_ Dejun thinks, recalling the harbored feelings for his roommate, his _best friend._

"He got what he deserved." Venom oozes from Jaehyun's voice. "That bastard should’ve been dead a long time ago."

The sob comes out, rips through Dejun like a freshly sharpened blade. He falls onto the floor, leaning against the wall as his legs give out beneath him.

"Shh, it's okay my dear, he's gone now, there's nothing left for you to be afraid of." Dejun tries to dodge the incoming embrace, tries to kick Jaehyun in the stomach and wrangle free from this Hell he's been dragged into, but his body refuses to comply. His vision blurs, colors mixing and spreading in front of him as he wills himself to fight. But Jaehyun's strong arms encircle him instead, holding him so tight it feels like he’s being bound by thick ropes.

"I've been all over time, overseeing and keeping everything balanced and according to plan," His chest rumbles from where Dejun's head is being held against it, puffs of air escaping Jaehyun's lips and ruffling Dejun's hair from where his chin is settled, "That grew tiresome and lonely," He pauses, looks at the tear-streaked cheeks he’s holding and smiles, void of anything other than  _ stomach curdling _ fondness, "But then I found you. You were walking in the street, you had just turned 19, and you were so  _ beautiful,  _ I just couldn't let you go."

Dejun is barely comprehending anything this  _ monster  _ is saying to him as he continues his frenzied weeping.  _ ‘He's been all over time? I don't — what does that even  _ mean?’

He's still smiling down at Dejun, cold, grey,  _ dead _ eyes stripping his soul from the inside out, "He was going to  _ destroy  _ you, he was going to take you away from me, I was  _ so scared _ Junnie." He’s looking down at Dejun, digging his nails into every place he’s holding him.

He jerks his head up to the wall, quickly looking at a clock that ticks by slowly, "It's time — come on Dejun it's time to go." He picks Dejun up from under his arms, his built frame lifting Dejun's limp body from the floor and standing him up. Dejun cries out, tears streaming endlessly and his throat so clogged with  _ everything _ that he can barely make a sound. All of it happens with Jaehyun quietly shushing him, reassuring him with  _ 'it's okay' _ s and  _ 'everything is alright' _ s, which is only egging his bawling on further.

Contrary to what Jaehyun seems to think while being caught in his delusions, Dejun feels the exact  _ opposite _ of okay, he's  _ terrified _ and just wishes he could go back and do it all over again; he wishes he would have never agreed to go on this awful date — if it could even be called that anymore. He thinks about Xuxi again, his brain trying to wrap itself around his best friend actually being  _ dead. _

_ ‘He's gone.’ _

The thought  _ —  _ as heartbreaking and world-shattering as it is  _ —  _ instills him with enough strength to throw himself off of Jaehyun, making a break for  _ anything _ that could act as an exit, an escape from this living nightmare _.  _ He doesn't have enough time to look behind him, or trip, or do  _ anything _ that could jeopardize him getting the  _ hell  _ away from Jaehyun and his delusions. He turns a random corner, realizing just how  _ big  _ this house is, and sees hope in the form of a small window. It'll be a bit of a squeeze, but Dejun’s run dry of options and this is his last chance of making it out alive.

He speeds up his running, trying to get as much force behind his body as possible to try and break through the glass. And he is getting so  _ close _ he can taste the greenery through the walls, smell the freedom of the waiting trees and overgrowth of the forest, his mind is calling out,  _ reaching for it, _ with every last fiber of his being. His legs feel weightless underneath him, carrying the rest of his body closer and closer to the window until he is a mere  _ inch _ away from shattering the glass with his flexed shoulder and  _ escaping. _

But when he goes tumbling to the ground, shattering sounds all around him and striking his ears painfully, it  _ isn't  _ through the window. He isn't outside, he isn't in a bed of moss and grass, and he most certainly  _ isn't  _ out of the awful house. The shattering sounds caused, not by a pane of glass versus brute force, but by the hope in his heart being struck down with all the force in the world.

_ ‘It's gone. My last chance, my escape, my  _ life _ , it's all slipped through my fingers, as fine as grains of sand.  _

_ The hourglass has run out; my time is up.’ _

Jaehyun lays on top of his heaving form, pinning him to the ground with a grip strong enough it could kill Dejun. The look of emptiness is long gone, replaced by hot and fiery anger, licking at the seams of his irises, crawling their way out and waiting  _ desperately _ for the chance to consume its prey — Jaehyun's prey;  _ Dejun. _

"Why—" He's huffing out his words, just as out of breath as Dejun, "Are you trying _so hard,_ " His voice growing mean _,_ "to _escape._ I can give you _everything you've ever wanted and more,_ we are _made_ for each other Dejun! That's how soulmates work — I would know, I've been watching them for centuries, _millennia,_ and I _finally_ found the one that was supposed to be _all mine._ " Poison is dripping off his tongue with each breath he utters, stuffing up every one of Dejun's senses, "I'm sorry, but you have given me no other choice, _I can't let you leave me._ "

Dejun watches as Jaehyun's muscles ripple beneath his dress shirt, his arms pushing forward and his hands coming to Dejun's face, settling below his jaw. His fingers wind around Dejun's throat, thumbs roughly stroking along his windpipe,  _ bruising. _

Dejun looks into Jaehyun's eyes one last time — his brain creates the image of  _ remorse _ on Jaehyun’s face; a glimmer of hope in dark times. In Dejun’s  _ final times. _

And then, the world fades to black, and he doesn't feel or think or see  _ anything. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> not too sure what to say after that...
> 
> i really do hope you enjoyed (?) reading,,, whatever that was lmao
> 
> come check back after reveals and maybe you'll figure out who i am hehe...


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